Kayo’s Prayer as an Artist: “Allow Me To Pull on You Creatively”
Written by Stuti
“Allow me to pull on you creatively. I don’t need money, fame - I don’t need you to give me anything, but allow me to pull on that creative power and I’ll take on the world from there.”
Listening parties are both powerful and tender. They demand us to be present while inviting us in. There’s nervousness that is exciting, both from the artist giving us the experience and from those of us receiving this work. Musicians condense their passion and life experiences into just a small speck of time in comparison to the years, days, hours it took to create the work.
As soon as I entered the space for Kayo’s listening party for his album It Was Fun While It Lasted, I was struck by the feeling of trust: trust that Kayo had in his work, trust that the community that came together to create this album had in both the work and in us as listeners. The red lights and seat arrangement around the speakers and microphone felt all-encompassing. Much like the album, it showed us all the angles - you had to walk around the room and take it all in to experience it in totality. There was Mickey Mouse art hanging around the venue, the downstairs event space of the beautiful Epiphany Arts Center, which really drew me in as it was incredibly fun and playful. The DJ playing songs from Saba’s Few Good Things and Westside Boogie’s More Black Superheros album invited us into the warmth of the vibe, prepared us for what to listen to.
From the statement Kayo released to attendants before we arrived, I was prepared for this to be an experience to carry loss and grief.
What a blessing, then, that the event started with prayer by the amazing host, Naira.
As one of my favorite writers Hanif Abdurraqib says in his essay about Chance in 2016, “There is something very Chicago about this, too, like when I call my friends from Chicago who are artists, and we only get five minutes into conversation before they want to know what I’m working on, or how they can help. It is fitting that Chance comes from a city that never lets you walk alone.”
Being an artist from Chicago is almost synonymous with involving family, chosen and/or blood. Chicago is a city where you know you can ask folks for help and you know people are going to show up for you. Kayo’s It Was Fun While It Lasted is a testimony to that legacy.
The album itself is beautiful and worth visiting many times, with excellent production and features of artists we know and love like Femdot, Ausar, Senite, St. Sabina Youth Choir, and more. The first track “It Ends in Disaster” starts with addressing ego but talking about love, what we really look for. Kayo pours out all the loss to set a foundation for what he will generously be walking us through as listeners. This was such a bold start, to name something that the world tends to put aside but that we actually need to hear about and heal.
At the very end of the event, Kayo said, “Leave here knowing you can do anything you set your mind to & if not, you probably aren’t good at the thing you want to do!” We all laughed. I came home, made some tea, and started working on my main creative project until midnight.
I was so lucky to have an interview with Kayo two days after the album was released.
Stuti: We’re gonna start with a deep question. What does it look like for you to call on God in the creative process?
Kayo: That may be one of the best questions I’ve been asked! One of my favorite quotes is one I heard through Jay-Z. I’m paraphrasing, but it was “If you let an artist in the studio, crack the door and let God in, that’s where the magic is made.” So my process as a Muslim, I’m just one of those people who God is an important part of my life. [...] I recognized I can do it but only through Him. Even if I don’t bow my head and open my hands for prayer [while creating], there’s some sort of reflection on that power. Even at night time, when I do my full rakats, one of my short duas is just, “Allow me to pull on you creatively. I don’t need money, fame - I don’t need you to give me anything, but allow me to pull on that creative power and I’ll take on the world from there.”
Stuti: That’s beautiful. I’m going to borrow that. I’m more spiritual now than religious; I was raised Christian but God is such a powerful part of my process too. A lot of my art comes from surrender. There’s a point where you’ve given it to God and the Divine and the work that comes from that is life changing. [...]
I think my favorite song from the album was definitely “Still Running.” There’s a line in “Wait on Me” that goes “Kayo is just an archetype.” Tell me more about that,
Kayo: That’s one of my favorite songs. That’s either one of my first or second favorites; it switches. [...] “When I Grow Up” creeps up there too.
Stuti: That is a fire track. The choir there is great.
Kayo: That one is a cheat code for performances; everyone puts their lighters up, so it feels more special.
Kayo: But “Wait on Me” was an important song to me– one, because at the time when I made it, it was the best song on the album. It was the focal point of the album. [...] Wait on Me blew [all the previous tracks] clean out the water. It was important when I was writing it.
That line - Kayo is an archetype. There’s so many different ways I could tell this story because while one thing was happening in my life, a total different thing was happening in my brother’s life, which you hear in the second verse - he had a child. So I was writing the verse to my [future] child, which is why I say “Kayo is just an archetype, a million ways to be the man, don’t think we gotta start alike. Don’t think you gotta wait on me, cause one day I’ll be gone, and it’s too late for me.” It ended up being to my nephew because my brother’s child. So I ended up pre-writing history.
The way it unfolded was literally just God. [...] I was writing this song to say who I am as a man is just an archetype - I’m not the greatest person of all time, I’m not the worst person of all time. You can look to me for respect, [...] for a person’s who’s about his business, has his morals intact, knows how to communicate - I’m the archetype, but don’t look at me to follow me word for word, bar for bar in the words of Soulja Boy. Follow that archetype and just kinda do with that what you will. And I ended up writing that for my nephew.
Stuti: That’s so dope! [...] And now he can listen to that and hold those lessons. Thank you for sharing.
One of the songs I really liked was where you talked about your partner. It was so beautiful to hear you express [mutual] artistic support. We learn so much about your life, your losses, and all of that, and this was a beautiful part of this story. I’m a big fan of love - can you tell me a bit more about what supporting someone artistically when you’re their partner looks like for you?
Kayo: It can look different depending on what their medium is and what they need at the time. For my specific relationship, she’s never shied away from helping financially which is how most artists need help getting merch and this and that off the ground. But that’s [just one way] to kind of summarize her.
The broader point is just helping and being that person who’s able to withstand the ups and downs of a creative. That’s the biggest help that you can give. Because we deal with a lot of back and forth mentally. We deal with doubt, we deal with self-deprecating thoughts. So having a person who doesn’t take that and make it worse is really, really necessary. And the worst part of it all is that they technically don’t owe you that. They didn’t sign up to be your therapist.
Stuti: Exactly! It’s almost like two different relationships. It’s like you and them normally and you and them artistically.
Kayo: Exactly. So if you luck up and find someone who’s willing to be that thing, then you’d be a fool to lose that. I say the line, [...] the girl who was my biggest fan says that I should die alone.
Stuti: Yo that line hit me!
Kayo: Yeah - like having to withstand that [being in my art] and not make it a thing is the biggest help. And that’s the one thing you don’t owe me. Like you have every right to say, “No, I’m going to go.”
Stuti: Thank you for sharing that. That’s super helpful to hear for me too, both to be an artist who can receive that from someone and also to learn how to be that person for someone.
Okay I only have one more question. This is a fun one. You’re given one week in your ideal creative space like a studio, an island, wherever. So outside of the necessities like food, water, sleep, you’re allowed one book, one album, one snack. What would those be?
Kayo: Ooh. Okay, the album - pretty easy. It would be Stevie Wonder’s Songs in the Key of Life. [...]For the book, right now I’m reading 1984 by George Orwell, [...] but for this purpose, the book I would need would be the Holy Quran because it would be crucial to take God with you at a time like that. The snack, I’mma say Fruit Gushers.
Stuti: Ooh those are good! The grape ones are my favorite. Any particular flavor?
Kayo: They all take the same to me, I can not tell the difference. I thought it was like Fruit Loops, like Fruit Loops are all the same flavors but just different colors.
Stuti: WHAT? That’s so messed up
Kayo: Wait I have to look this up! Was it Fruit Loops? It was one of the colorful snacks, like Fruit Loops or M&Ms. This study came out where they said they’re literally all the same flavor but your mind makes it seem like they are different.
Stuti: Wow they got us good!
Well, thank you so much for your time. I just wanted to say, there’s a lot on your album that shares your story and experience with loss. This was so helpful to me [for my own losses]. Art like yours is something that helps heal. It takes a lot to be an artist who shares work that is so vulnerable that you heal that many people. I hope you are taking care of yourself & you got your people.