Confession of an ex-catholic

by Ari Ochoa Petzold

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I was born with a sin, 
the heritage of humanity. 
Later I would realize 
I do not believe in that.

I was absolved through water 
pouring down my forehead,
amusing words of a man,
and a white dress. 

They gave me a warning, 
I would continue this wretched 
activity seeming to 
unite us all.

I’m no stranger to pain, 
and as I play victim I remember 
I had also been cast in the role of the assailant. 
I have made people bleed.

Did I want to do it? Of course not! 
But that doesn’t change 
the stains on my hands, or the metallic taste 
on my tongue. Does it?

I can’t go to confess, that would be an insult 
to the ones I live with. 
I can just wish the apologies will
keep me from punishing myself. 

I would take the pain I inflicted.
And carry it with me, not as a burden, 
but as homework. 
Let's hope this time I learn my lesson.

Humans are born broken, 
that’s a thing I still believe, 
though not for the reasons I was taught. 
There is a history shared, of hurting one another. 
To hide the cracks in our pottery.

And this 
is marvelous.
No heroes, no villains, 
just people. 

I am guilty of several crimes. 
However, locked away in a cell, 
hiding in a corner, I might not hurt anyone 
But, how could I make up for it?

I’ll walk this earth. 
Look for you and kneel, 
nurse the wounds 
my sword inflicted.

I am 
so sorry, 
so very sorry, 
I’ll do better.

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Ari Ochoa Petzold is a 16 year old Mexican-Venezuelan genderfluid writer who currently lives in México. They like dancing to old music and history. In their free time you can find them trying to coerce their friends to participate in another of their crazy stories. Find more of their work at Instagram in @Ari_gibberish.