BODY AGNOSTIC

by Gabrielle Grace Hogan

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Once as a child
I asked my teacher
how to pronounce
rhododendron, then
pronounced it perfectly,
because I just wanted
the praise. I am at
the devastating intersection
of sado-masochism
and self-sabotage.
Before her, I masturbated
out of boredom—
now, I masturbate
out of love. Closure
is a human construct.
The emptied can rolls
away from me
because of the wind,
not because of me.
While sexting
the woman I don’t love,
I say:
You shall not bear false witness.
You shall make no false idols.
You shall have no other gods before me.
She sends back
the tongue emoji.
Sex is ventriloquism—
I put my hand inside
someone else,
and they do the talking.

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Gabrielle Grace Hogan (she/her) received her MFA from the University of Texas at Austin. Her work has been published by TriQuarterly, CutBank, Salt Hill, and others, and has been supported by the James A. Michener Fellowship and the Ragdale Foundation. In the past, she has served as Poetry Editor of Bat City Review, and as Co-Founder/Co-Editor of “You Flower / You Feast,” an anthology of work inspired by Harry Styles. She has published two chapbooks, Soft Obliteration (Ghost City Press 2020), and Love Me With the Fierce Horse Of Your Heart (Ursus Americanus Press 2023). She is a Team Writer for Autostraddle. Find more information on her website, gabriellegracehogan.com. She lives in Austin, Texas.