mother's day
by Camille Ferguson
Cherries & blueberries / sweet / I’m pulled
over just / as the sun crests /
free of the horizon’s / rigid body /
with the backseat full of my best / friend’s
mothers /
I can see their / relief though / they were never
afraid just /
anxious to get back / to their daughters /
Putting together / the immaculate place- / settings & gold-/
browning the last / blueberry pancake / plating
cherry / danishes /
I told the cop I was never /
going to hurt / anyone I was just /
hurting, myself /
He asks if I know / my name, the date /
I say yes, /unfortunately & do you / know, I’m just wondering /
do bird /
moms really push / their babies out / the nest to teach
them / to fly or do they just /
maybe not / love very much? / & he grows
very / impatient with me /
The moms don’t press / charges but they also don’t /
invite me to brunch /
They ask the badge to look / after me /
He gives me a ticket / for disturbing his peace / & heads
back to Denny’s / where his mom / is
very happy to see him /
My mom texts to tell / me she loves / me which is
really her way of / asking me to engage / in this /
holiday
She’s somewhere / in Indiana painting / a portrait of me
& spending / the money / she’s supposed to / use to move back /
on brushes & gesso /
I go to the beach to watch / the rest of the day beat /
its way into view /
There’s a chill so I set all / the hallmark / cards
in my pocket / on fire & feel /
better at least / about permanence
/ of feeling /
I pick up stones / but never throw
them into the water /
I place them flat on my tongue / & suck
what I can / out of them /
I try to decide where they come from /
If they belong / on this shore /
One of the stones is really / a snail / aggravated
by her place in / the middle of my sentence
She leaves her grief in my mouth //
Briny & viscous & then I can’t speak & that’s /
probably better
I set her back down in the gravel-sand / where she doesn’t storm
off just / withdraws / back
/ into her shell /&
rocks // herself / to sleep / tomorrow /
is just / a day