mother's day

by Camille Ferguson


Cherries & blueberries / sweet / I’m pulled 
over just / as the sun crests / 
free of the horizon’s / rigid body / 
with the backseat full of my best / friend’s
mothers /
I can see their / relief though / they were never 
afraid just / 
anxious to get back / to their daughters / 
Putting together / the immaculate place- / settings & gold-/
browning the last / blueberry pancake / plating 
cherry / danishes / 
I told the cop I was never / 
going to hurt / anyone I was just /
hurting, myself / 
He asks if I know / my name, the date /
I say yes, /unfortunately & do you / know, I’m just wondering /
do bird / 
moms really push / their babies out / the nest to teach 
them / to fly or do they just /
maybe not / love very much? /
& he grows 
very / impatient with me / 
The moms don’t press / charges but they also don’t /
invite me to brunch / 
They ask the badge to look / after me /
He gives me a ticket / for disturbing his peace / & heads
back to Denny’s / where his mom / is 
very happy to see him / 
My mom texts to tell / me she loves / me which is 
really her way of / asking me to engage / in this / 
holiday 
She’s somewhere / in Indiana painting / a portrait of me 
& spending / the money / she’s supposed to / use to move back / 
on brushes & gesso / 
I go to the beach to watch / the rest of the day beat /
its way into view / 
There’s a chill so I set all / the hallmark / cards 
in my pocket / on fire & feel / 
better at least / about permanence
/ of feeling / 
I pick up stones / but never throw 
them into the water / 
I place them flat on my tongue / & suck 
what I can / out of them / 
I try to decide where they come from / 
If they belong / on this shore / 
One of the stones is really / a snail / aggravated 
by her place in / the middle of my sentence
She leaves her grief in my mouth // 
Briny & viscous & then I can’t speak & that’s / 
probably better  
I set her back down in the gravel-sand / where she doesn’t storm
off just / withdraws / back 
/ into her shell /& 
   rocks    // herself  / to sleep / tomorrow / 
is just / a day