My father misspeaks

by Rachel “Raych” Jackson

---

and calls me the name of his dying sister. 

I watch the name empty out. Every syllable 

removing herself from his mouth slowly. 

She expands between us, flooding the room 

with her favorite flower and food. The photo chosen 

for the obituary floats pass us. We stop talking 

behind her name to sit soggy in our mourning; waiting 

for the other to acknowledge the spill. I drove 

an hour to get here with my own brothers’ mortality 

seeping through the car speakers. The ride is 

grief practice. I sort through topics on the road 

that will lead us away from drowning

in sorrow. Still, her name finds a way 

to his mouth and swells in the silence 

with my own dissolving 

in the quiet.

---

Rachel “Raych” Jackson is a writer, educator and performer. Her poems have gained over 2 million views on YouTube. She is the 2017 NUPIC Champion and a 2017 Pink Door fellow. Jackson continues to instruct workshops through Poetry Foundation, InsideOut Literary Arts and more. Jackson’s work has been published by many— including Poetry Magazine, The Rumpus, The Shallow Ends, and Washington Square Review. Her debut collection EVEN THE SAINTS AUDITION was recently published through Button Poetry. Her collection won Best New Poetry Collection by a Chicagoan in the Chicago Reader fall of 2019. Jackson currently lives in Chicago.