SHELBY/ JESS/ CARMEN
by Karla Lamb
Remember you said/ you’d take me/ to the Chateau Marmont/ said you wanted/ more of me/ said/ I was hot enough/ to be seen with/ walking past your cool/ film industry friends/ said/ that we’re neighbors/ it makes sense/ obviously/ to share a ride/ your side bitch/ standing there like/ what the fuck/ so unexpected/ you & I/ remember/ making out in the Uber/ your hard sighs euphoric/ our bodies aligned/ a hot show for the male/ gaze/ I had to pull away/ tell you/ stop/ but it’s L.A. /baby/ you said/ now I know/ where you live/ same street as me/ conveniently close/ your place is a mess/ I’m topless/ on your couch/ now/ you’re on top/ now/ sideways/ tits in my face/ I trace/ the stretch marks/ on your chest/ with my tongue/ I say I like it/ slow/ flow state/ you admit/ once a fuckboy/ always a fuckboy/ but you think/ you got it out/ of your system/ when you went/ to England/ you admit/ you know nothing/ about astrology/ you admit/ you had a boyfriend/ once/ you admit/ you got Botoxed & bleached/ you admit/ it’s been a hot minute since/ Shelby/ Jess/ Carmen/ the friction/ between our leather jackets/ said/ you’d take me/ on your motorcycle/ got me to send you/ nudes/ long distance FaceTime/ so much time/ invested/ so much time/ wasted/ just to be/ ghosted/ reads Polysecure once/ & thinks/ she’s an expert/ no one/ is perfect babe/ I saw the texture/ on your skin/ behind my shower curtain/ Virgo queen/ never actually came/ clean/ fear of catching feelings/ feeling/ anything/ real/ we danced to Carole King/ after my K-hole/ at Harvard & Stone/ fucked to oblivion/ you made me a playlist/ Cigarettes After Sex/ I remember when you said/ we’re more than just/ friends/ I was new blood/ to you/ back then/ Shelby/ Jess/ Carmen/ you came back/ from tour & I/ never saw you again/ remember when/ you tore/ your tendon/ said/ you’d never/ be able to play guitar/ again/ then you/ fingered/ me/ with that same/ dominant hand/ I/ never came & when/ I quoted/ Tracy Chapman lyrics/ something about/ a fast car/ you said/ you’re not over/ your ex/ when we kissed/ in CDMX/ on your birthday/ drinking/ with your cool/ music industry friends/ the 4 AM texts/ holding hands/ mezcal tequila sake wine rails/ at Honey’s/ disco dizzy vibes/ DJ Dykegeist/ us/ against/ all the pulsing/ walls/ mirrors/ light
Karla Lamb (she/ella) is a queer Chicana poet born in Mexico City, with work in Fruitslice, Tilted House, Cobra Milk, Rejected Lit, A Women’s Thing Magazine, YES Poetry, Fine Print Press, Word Riot, Pittsburgh Poetry Journal, & more. A two-time Best of the Net nominee, her work has also been translated in Revista La Peste. Lamb hosts Verse4Verse, a monthly Queer-expansive poetry open mic in East Los Angeles. Learn more at karlalamb.com & @vinylowl.